Frankie as dragon

On Staten Island, Rooster Comes to Kill YOU



Roosters have overrun the mis-named street of Sleepy Hollow Road way out on the South Shore of Staten Island, the forgotten borough of NYC. Not only are the roosters raising a ruckus every sun-up, they're destroying people's gardens! Local Michelle Olsen is currently feeding the guys, and scrambles eggs for them (??) every morning. They also enjoy elbow macaroni.

No one knows how the chickens got there, but the local mail carrier, whom the article identifies only as "Lou" doesn't like them, or the big cat the next street over.
poly glam

How To Find Your Dead Dog

THIS PSYCHIC KNOWS

I know you peeps are always thinking your dead pets will come back to you as another pet. Have you ever been to cat and/or dog heaven? It's pretty awesome. They'd be crazy to come back. But I guess some of them miss you. This lady psychic will find the new body your animal's soul has eaten. Shepards come back as foxhounds! I bet Mungo would come back as an otter. Lemme ask. NO! He said bear. a nice bear in a nice park with nice foods.

Psychic Ellen Kohn says talking to deceased pets ended up being a lot like talking to the living. So it must go like this: me: Frankie! what the what are you doing! Frankie: I dunno!

I think I am an animal psychic!
hank

Cat Rsecued from Sewer!

SEWER CAT!!

Silly Bronx cat Motz left his home during a barbeque a few weeks ago, causing his person to go into a skelter looking for him. Luckily, a friend heard his meows, coming from a sewer grate!!! Bronx EPA worker Samuel Barcone donned some protective gloves and rescued the damp and smelly cat.

For the record, firefighters were unable to rescue Motz. Buncha pussies.

hank

Man Bypasses Order of Protection Via Cat

In case you were wondering, it didn't work

An jailed man in Utah was found to be in violation of an order of protection against his wife because he wrote 11 letters to the couple's cat begging the cat to tell his wife not to testify against him in his upcoming trial. Obviously, the cat felt the man could not be trusted and alerted the proper authorities. Generally, we're NOT on the side of the law, but I guess the cat, Molly, had her reasons. Maybe he didn't feed her one day.